Behind that crisp shirt, fall 2014 Blahniks, MAC mascara and sweet scent of Miss Dior I see a girl screaming “just because I appear a certain way doesn’t mean I don’t get hurt or have no emotions”. So many times we are judged by our exteriors. If you appear to be a powerful, opinionated and intelligent women there are 1111 assumptions made about you. If men have these traits and earn well, earn a good position for them that is usually considered ambitious and makes him an “eligible bachelor” but unfortunately the same for women becomes a “threat” probably making her chances of having a normal relationship as slim as her waistline.
Basically if you are a successful bitch and appear to be a tough cookie no one is going to think that probably you have worked your ass off to reach where you are today and you have been through a lot of heartache too and that’s why the shield and guards are up. If you have an opinion you are immediately labelled dominating and controlling. The same qualities (sarcasm) in men are attractive and sexy. Ironically you will find more women trying to pull you down than men, while you ask yourself what happened to “women supporting each other”.
If you are careful and trying to think before you speak and hence taking your time to open up, aha you are a snob or have an attitude problem- Woman. If you try to make someone comfortable and hence are going out of your comfort zone and talking about things you are not even interested in- woman you are a chatter box and talk too much. Sometimes it’s too little and sometimes too much. You are trying to strike a balance, oh please don’t even attempt. No matter what you do it is going to fall short of something.
Ok, even if you can afford one but out of love want to flaunt your men’s diamonds you are a gold digger or a trophy wife (I hope there are male equivalents for these too). I have two female friends who are called these names very often and trust me whatever their reasons are for these weddings, they are really happily married. They have beautiful families. Although we may have different approaches in life I fully and proudly support fellow women.
As much as I feel positive things happen to those who wish the same for others, I agree that we won’t be able to completely eradicate the negativity and the bitching/haters. So, I guess the charade has to be carried on. You can expose your inner self to people who come within your safety zone and have to have your guards on with the rest of the world. And if they give you an evil look trust me they are envying what they are missing.
With Cheryl Lynn’s got to be real playing in my head I start contemplating my thoughts on being real.
1. Being real is first and foremost accepting that high heels are bloody uncomfortable no matter how much I love those louboutins and choos.
2. It also means that when I am looking slimmer, honey it’s not my genetics or running behind my baby…blah. Its hell lot of a hard work and resisting yummy fattening greasy food.
3. Being real is, the awkward silence I maintain upon none of the gal friends getting my sense of humour when actually what I want to do is punch them in faces. (Women seriously don’t have the sense of humour that guys have, no wonder they seek that in their guy).
4. Reality is what I see in mirror daily (READ: a pretty face)
5. Reality is holding hands with my man and witnessing the sunset, knowing that like everything, we will end too but not what we have created with our love.
6. Being real for me is also being non judgemental, everyone has their own versions and ways. We are nobody to judge because we have not lived their life and not been through what they have in their journey.
7. Being real is, knowing I have flaws and am perfect inspite of them.
8. Being real is when I don’t return a smile as a part of courteous behaviour, because I am really pissed off at something and I can have mood swings too (Am a woman for god sake)
9. Being real is, knowing and accepting with a lot of pain and discomfort that I am not 5’10 (Sigh).
10. Being real is, knowing I am a charlotte from SATC (sex and the city) no matter how much I wish I was Samantha (I am winking).
11. Being real is accepting how I wish I could be a guy for a day. (Did I mention that guy looks like Brad Pitt)
12. Being real is taking time off everyone and everything for just “Me and my IPOD time”. (C’mon a gal has a tough life…..give her a breather)
13. Being real is confessing I have bought clothes one size small anticipating a size drop which never happened.
14. Being real is when I say am an Atheist. I believed in god once upon a time and then I grew up.
15. Being real is confessing I actually thought music will play in the air when I meet my right guy.
16. Being real for me is, accepting I have embarrassed myself before others more number of times than you think I have.
17. Reality is, everytime I have liked a dress in a shop and intended to buy it, I could not sleep at night or function normally until I stepped in the shop and took ownership of it.
18. And finally I say this for all of us, being real is knowing there is nothing you can’t do and there is no one like you, you are one of a kind and inspiring my gal.
Keep being real and be the fabulous “YOU”
Since I hail from land of cricket lovers and bollywood frenzies, it comes as no surprise to me that I am a bit of drama queen. But lately I have realised lil bit of drama helps you either escape or enjoy any given situation in life. Whether in bad times or good times being a tad bit dramatic helps you laugh off the fall in life as well as not get all blown up by the happiness of hay days.
I am this strange person who for some reason gets motivated by pain and struggle, heart aches, heart breaks, pain, struggle all these words are extremely motivating to me. I have noticed that sometimes I have also wanted the moment of sulking and moaning to last longer, for some reason it gives me a high. I have kind of enjoyed it. It’s more like that saying “the wounded deer leaps the highest”. I have always felt that the more I get hurt and the more pain life gives me the better I will do in life. I have heard filmy sad songs when I have been low and the moaning which was already on the verge of being nonexistent was revived deliberately by some specific sad songs.
Eventually I do get normal and get over it too but I try my best that period of feeling sad lasts longer. Same way when I am happy it’s not like you normal people. When I am happy I am HAPPY and my facial expressions, my volume, my body language, my clothes, my hair and makeup make it pretty evident that I am HAPPY. You will and definitely cannot miss the HAPPY me. When I am happy my favourite playlist is playing in my head and am having all the expressions for a perfect bollywood song. Well thats me, any emotion in life just doesn’t pass by, I dramatise it otherwise I feel something is missing in my life or its plain boring. The way my hubby and me met and how we made history and a beautiful baby together is no less than a bollywood saga.
But all these drama has retained the child in me, nothing bad really shakes me to the core and nothing good makes me lose my grounds. This trait has helped me to get through this life quite happily and easily (if I may say so) I want to share this with all you beautiful peeps too. I feel I have learnt to live every moment and every emotion fully. When you are happy be completely and entirely happy with no fear or reservations and don’t hold yourself back in expressing your happiness, be happy like there is no one happier than you, like no one else knows what it feels to be happy but you. When you are sad be very sad don’t deprive yourself of this right because you have to drain the pain out, if you feel like crying do weep and cry, let it all go. Automatically once you vent it out you will get over it. No matter how much you feel you can’t get over it in the beginning, trust me you will. We are sometimes told as adults that we need to live a controlled life, with control over our emotions and expressions. But when you set yourself free like a bird and take a flight you feel fearless and alive just like a little baby who doesn’t care about the world around him.
If you haven’t been a drama queen ever trust me and try it once… it will definitely bring a smile to your face. Guaranteed.
And if you still have not got how to be a drama queen ……..GO HERE…
This post is not about judging anyone’s personal maternity style neither it is an expert opinion on maternity fashion, as I am far from being an expert myself. It’s purely about my style, taste and preference during my pregnancy. Also most importantly maternity wear has a lot to do with your body type then and your comfort. I personally feel comfort comes first no matter what when dressing during pregnancy.
I mostly stuck to cotton leggings and trousers during my pregnancy. Also I did not shop much of maternity clothes as I did fit in all my regular clothes. However I did buy a “going home” outfit from Asos which again wasn’t too fancy it was leggings, pair of flat pumps and a navy boyfriend t shirt. I got the pumps and t shirt in blue as I knew I was having a boy. As I did not know when I would be able to go home and due to lot of chaos I do not have a picture of my going home outfit.
I wore mostly breathable clothes as it was a very hot summer and just the beginning of fall.
So, does this happen to you?
Yesterday due to clogged kitchen drain I could not cook and we ordered a take away…..unfortunately no plumbers on weekend available. So I had ample of time at hands and I plan to spend that time with my son as I always feel guilty while am cooking or washing dishes that I should play with him and keep him company. So I took him to the play ground, made him eat his dinner and at 7 and after this he fell asleep…..now this is the same guy who knocks me and his dad out at 10:30 ,11 and is still awake and is seldom asleep at 7. And when I have to cook and do other chores he is never asleep in fact on those days he is over clingy and makes me feel bad for not spending time with him. It just tears me apart like what should I do? I have a pile of things to do plus make dinner plus make my bubba happy.
So many times I tell myself that okay I want to be super organized so I will have enough time for myself. And I plan in my head that after this thing I will do that and comfortably that will let me have some time for myself. Sometimes just for a cup of ginger tea lounging by the window is a luxury (Ufff, how my routines B.A (before Arhaan) are now luxuries). But the moment I hold that cup someone either wakes up, or cries mama mam, or needs to climb over me. And there goes my planning, in the trashcan.
I have tried it all being organized, unorganized, mad, multitasking, not asking trust me nothing works. You just have to be a puppet and do things and serve your babies as they want. And despite of this sometimes food can come phrrr flying at your face. Initially I was overwhelmed and tired, and then I got to a stage that I wasn’t tired anymore but irritable and now finally am on my last and final stage which is Zen mode. I have established that every parent goes through these three stages where initially a baby is draining every bit of your energy, then when you get used to this little addition to your family their tantrums and timings can annoy you a bit and you will definitely be annoyed but obviously this is your own kid so you have to suck it up. And finally you will realise that this is life for you!
I heard a very good, simple thing recently but it makes a lot of sense if you really understand it. It says that there is no point of achieving calm, peace, serenity outside your routine life. It only makes sense and is worth it if you achieve this state of mind in middle of chaos, day to day struggles of life. It’s not worth that you leave your chaotic, full of struggles life and go out looking for peace and happiness. There isn’t any happiness out there. It is on faces of your loved ones, it is in your day to day struggles and routines, it is when you are dead tired and still look forward to sleep in bed together with all your family, it is in the tight hugs and kisses we share everyday with our family. Yes, my life isn’t easy, am not alien to problems and struggles and stress but I still love my life and my people and it brings tears to my eyes when I even think for a minute that they are with me only for this lifetime. One lifetime with my hubby and son is truly not enough; we definitely have to meet again.
I hope, you give hugs and kisses to your beloveds until you are together because there is nothing after this life and beyond this life. Everything is here, all happiness and peace is here. There is nothing more meaningful than life and nothing you cannot achieve during your stay here.
Love and peace to all
Out of lot of places I have travelled to Barcelona is my top favourite city. And I know I have many more places to visit yet and this could be too early judgement, but it’s like your life partner you just know when you meet the right person. You feel at home with them immediately.
I do not want to give you travel guidance here but definitely want to share my experiences during my visit. Usually one likes or dislikes a place depending on their experiences at that place, people they meet there, how they are made to feel, how smooth or rocky their stay has been there. I also believe that my trip to Barca was special due to all these factors having worked in my favour.
We stayed at Euro star at Via Laietana, the hotel was 4 star but was quite average. It wasn’t too fancy but was ideal for us as we needed a decent place for night stay and shower, because most part of the day we were out, also it was centrally located and made travelling very convenient to any part of the city. We also wanted to stay near gothic quarters, where we always went for midnight strolls. We loved the Irish cafe nearby where we went for our breakfast and coffee.
I found the city very welcoming and artistic, right from most celebrated artists like Picasso and Joan miro to street artists at Las Ramblas, beautiful architecture of Gaudi found across the city, lovely music playing around the corner of every street, amazing food, friendly and warm people, bursting with life atmosphere, beautiful beaches, lovely weather everything about the city was enchanting and appealing to me. It almost made me envy the locals who live in this lively and artistic city. It also has an amazing combination of beaches and mountains where in the same city you can find both type of beauties. Some areas are hilly and have amazing views like montjuic, park guell and the beaches are not far away too. Hence one does not need to drive for miles to enjoy the beach or mountains.
Imagine you are getting back from work and right outside the tube station you have a spectacular Gaudi creation staring at you, you can see beaches from your car or bus ride at home and your home is on one of the hills. Isn’t that just too good to be true?
We also visited a nearby village Sitges which used to be a fishing village and now is a popular place for its gay beaches and famous Bacardi house. This village was spectacular and has amazing food, atmosphere, beautiful houses and hotels. It’s a quiet getaway from the city’s rush (although the city doesn’t make you want a break). But the highlight was our return to the city from Sitges, we absolutely had no clue that the same day was Barcelona’s Independence Day and not even in my dreams I would have known that every single person of the city would be on the streets celebrating.
It was almost impossible for us to get to our hotel when we got off at our tube station. The streets were jam packed with people celebrating and chanting. Initially I was only concerned about getting back to hotel and hence was bit upset about the situation but when I realised that the situation isn’t changing; I gave up and joined in. Oh boy! It was overwhelming to see how much love and pride Catalonians have for Catalonia. I mean in my country I do see Independence Day celebrations, but they are mostly mandatory ceremonies and celebrations undertaken by government bodies or schools. I have never seen people of the city or country voluntarily come out on streets and celebrate it just like a festival. I really felt that self pride about your own country is so important to make it a beautiful place.
I remember our last day was very busy and active, we anyway prefer a busy and active holiday and we love to look around as locals travelling and walking everywhere amongst locals. But last day we were extra greedy and felt extremely bad about leaving. We went to the famous meat and food market at Las Ramblas; we also went back again for a long stroll at Passeig Marítim de la and shopped a bit too. We did cover many other places which I could not cover in-depth in my article but I would definitely recommend this place for art lovers and adventure lovers.
This beautiful journey came to an end and we were back to UK with rainfalls welcoming us. I remember it felt like a punishment. It will also remain special as it was our last holiday twosome now all our holidays would be along with my son and all my efforts would be to make it memorable for him.
Summer is here and so are my juices…. I prefer having juices all day in summers, which is not only good for hydration but I love the feeling of being light and at the same time feeling full.
Here is my another summer bonanza recipe!!
Hope you guys try it and like it
It is loaded with nutrition and health benefits.
To my surprise my son also liked it and had it. However it does not taste typically like one of the juices that kids like.
Handful of Spinach
1 Beetroot boiled
Small piece of Ginger
Sprinkle some Ceylon Cinnamon
Juicing has many benefits and I am sure you guys are already aware of them. There are many articles as well as videos available on internet educating us how and why juicing is very good for our body. One of my favourite green drinks, which takes barely 5 minutes with my nutribullet is a very healthy drink and rejuvenating.
I am sharing my recipe hereby.
It is very healthy and nutritious, juicing also helps enrich cells much faster than solid foods which takes a while to breakdown inside the body.
I hope you find this interesting and useful. I would say give it a try.
I have used Nutribullet instead of a normal juicer because I usually use that for all my juices and drinks as it is not a blender or juicer but food extractor and hence juices made with it are much more nutritious.
I usually prepare this with my son’s meal, the picture below is a BEFORE picture.
The second picture is the AFTER picture.
The consistency was smooth almost like a smoothie and it tasted really nice, one can barely taste the kale or spinach. It had a hint of sourness/tanginess due to oranges and grapes.
Handful of Spinach
Handful of Kale
Handful of celery (I took 1 entire celery stick)
Few red grapes
1 Apple diced
Ginger root (as per taste , however strong taste you want)
I have been taking a break and hence was away from my blog for while.
And by taking a break I do not mean having an amazing holiday at an exotic location, or sipping a cocktail at tropical islands. The break was all about an ill baby. My boy has proudly finished 7 months and this 8th month has been very adventurous so far, for him as well as for us.
A lot has happened in this few days. And also these few days have made me very strong. My little baby fell off from the bed inspite of huge blanket boundaries (we make these borders using large woollen blankets so that he can play safely in bed if he wakes up, I do not know how he managed to jump over it). Initially I felt very bad and was in a state of shock myself. However I checked him all over for any bumps, rashes, regular functioning of all organs and senses. Then I was quite relieved that he was okay.
Just after this mini drama, we were so carried away by few hot summery days UK showered upon us that we went for day outs everyday and did lots of sun bathing, which ended up in hay fever, cold, cough and now he is suffering from a viral throat infection too. And did I mention he is also teething in middle of all these…..
Yes, am sure you can imagine my life these days. Hence there was no time on hands for anything else but my baby. Now he is recovering but there is still a long way to go. I have stopped the milk for a while because his body is not accepting it and he throws up as soon as he has even 60 ml. Moreover I was told that when kids are teething and have vomiting and diarrhoea due to it, dairy products are best avoided as they can worsen the situation. He is mainly having juices, ORS water, water mixed with his well kid infant syrup, fresh fruit purees and his favourite chicken and fish.
In these couple of days I also realised that no matter how much you love somebody you cannot do beyond a point for them, no matter how much you want to. I was getting restless seeing him in pain and all choked up with cold and cough which he didn’t know how to throw up. Am sure he must be having a bad body ache or headache or his teething was extremely painful but he can’t tell me what is happening to him. And this thought was killing me. But then I realised that this is probably life’s way of teaching us that life isn’t going to be an easy ride. There are struggles everywhere and in everything right from your childhood. And it’s best if you learn to fight and survive through this. I would love a smooth ride for my baby with no problems but then I think would he be a tough guy with lot of patience and tolerance then. Sometimes we don’t see what pain brings along, we only focus on how terrible is this pain and misery but it is also shaping us up to meet the world all fully armed and equipped.
I have freed myself from unnecessary worry and have told myself that there is not going to be any magical cure for him (no matter how badly I wish there was one) and my son is not going to be cured over night. I have to be patient and let the nature do its job. I can feel bad for him that this happened to him and give him all the comforts I can but I have to let him grow independently and be his own person with his own experiences and struggles.
Whether you are man or woman, young or old, healthy or unhealthy, you can make the impossible happen.
Post pregnancy I am so motivated that I want to achieve a health state which is not only pre pregnancy state but I want to even surpass that and get fitter than before. I have to admit I became quite laid back recently with regards to nutrition and fitness due to major lack of time (which all mums complain of). But I have realised you have to really stretch yourself and take out that time otherwise you can always complain about not having it and on other hand you don’t realise how your 10 minutes TV/net break stretches to 1 and half hour or your 15 minutes nap time turns in to an hour long nap.
For me shaping up has nothing to do with joining the “YUMMY MUMMY” bandwagon. I mean it’s great if one can look hot and fit but that should not pressurise someone unnecessarily and affect the quality and quantity of time one spends with their baby. Fortunately I did not gain so much of weight during pregnancy but I have couple of friends who struggle with not only weight but lot of other health issues they have gained with the pregnancy and it is not fair when they are scrutinized about their appearance only in terms of weight. I believe gradual shaping up along with lots of quality time with your family and baby not only makes you happy but also you feel good about yourself and that has direct impact on how you look after yourself.
I developed chronic angioedema after pregnancy, it is a skin condition (allergy, I do not know what triggers it in my case). This is basically due to impurities in blood and requires me to change my nutrition and eating habits drastically. I mostly eat very clean diet however I realise I still need to bring in some very important changes. This allergy made me more interested in getting fit again. By fitness I do not mean becoming a certain size but I mean being “healthy”, I feel this term is used so loosely and is so underrated. I have now realised how handicapped you are if your health is not good and no amount of money or number of people around you can help you live your life except your own body.
On days when I have these allergy attacks, I have swollen and itchy red patches throughout my body, they are so bad that even medication takes a while to calm it down. And I cannot step out because of these horrendous swellings. They are very uncomfortable and very annoying (I wish I could put up my pictures of the allergy, but trust me it will scare the hell out of you). And when I had to cancel too many important appointments because of this silly allergy which I underestimated all along I realised how important it is to be normal and healthy. On those days I would feel just being allergy less is such a boon, getting back my allergy free body would seem like the biggest gift I could ever get. I have many friends who have defeated cancer and I am overwhelmed when they tell me how they feel about life and fitness. We just throw away these important assets taking it so for granted.
I am happy that this angioedema has given me something at least motivated me to look at what I have and is exclusively available to me and that is, my body. I have promised myself to never abuse it and have planned to start working on it. I will update my blog on regular intervals about how this journey is progressing and about my experiences along the way. I hope you too take away something from here and value your body, which is going to help you last till your last breath.